Fog

Fog is God breathing down on us.

maybe you should say "Bye-bye"

I had e-mail back to a guy who said "Ok, last attempt. If I don't hear from you still, I'm breaking up with you..........haha." I stated that I didn't think we had corresponded, but that since he lives in the Eastbay, it wouldn't work out.
I just got this in response..

Hmmm, nope, second attempt. You even replied to the first one stating that W.C. was too far. Aside from that, no urgency whatsoever. It's appearent that you've been doing this for some time. Why would you suspect that it is urgent and related to me quitting the service??? Exactly the reason for quitting this crap. Too complex and most of you are by far too consumed with the notes you receive. It's quite sad what society has become..........give it some thought, seriously, this stuff is bad news. The perfect person does not exist, not even through match.com's search engine. I'm not upset by any means and do wish you all the best. :-) Take care.

No, I don't think you are upset. Just.. hmmm CRANKY!!

=(

I do not have what you'd ordinarily consider a stressful job.. or what I would consider a stressful job. I am not saving lives, dealing with billions of dollars, or influencing leaders of countries. But one part of it give me basically an anxiety attack. It's when we send out an e-mail alert/invitation/communication to our contacts. We can have it proofed by 20 different people, have our partners sign off on it, have the it dept. bless it and inevitably something will still go wrong. And it's my butt. I can't even hit the send button. I have to have someone do it, and then I take a walk. I hate that feeling. It's awful. It's terrible. And there is nothing I can do about it...

4th of July Weekend Thoughts

Is there anything at all in the world you have less control over than falling in love? Maybe other's falling in love with you, but I might get some folks that would argue with that (moi aussi.) -ms

So this Fourth of July weekend was a blast. I hung out with friends and went on a couple of dates. Went to a street fair, concert, bbq(s). Drank wine, ate good food, and babysat a 9 month old baby girl named Marin. This whole weekend has brought about three realizations.

One. A guy I went out for drinks with, had let me know that really (although he is flexible) he doesn't really date women that are older than 36 (he is 38). I was surprised and inquired as to why. It had never crossed my mind to just date younger/older men. He said that it is because women his age, tend to have their biological clocks Tocking. Since he wants to spend a good amount of time with his betrothed before embarking on the Kids adventure, he thinks dating younger women helps further that goal. I was surprised, but it makes perfect sense. I feel very similarly about this. Once I do meet that someone, I want to spend a lot of time as just a couple. I want to do fun things, travel, go on dates, party, do projects, and have many, many adventures. I feel like that is my only regret in life so far (and not that easily fixed).. not really having been part of a couple in the last 10 years.

Two. Sometimes we put pressure on ourselves unduly. Needlessly, hopelessly. I thought this weekend more and more about how wonderful it is to live out here, and to have a mix of friends... single, dating, married, and a couple of babies sprinkled in between. I don't know how I would cope with being constantly surrounded by friends' exponentially growing families. I think even with the "joy of life" thing going on, it would be really depressing to be perpetually single in married land. I'm glad that these kinds of pressures (needless, hopeless, put mostly by myself upon myself) only make themselves apparent once in a while. I'm glad that most of the time I'm not expected to be keeping up with the Joneses, or the Nesters, or the Pawlowskis (more names to add soon) because I would be failing miserably.

Three. I'm not sure I want to have kids. I do hope that I will figure this out at some point, hopefully soon. Meanwhile, I can't make any promises to myself/others. I love my friends' kids, and I love seeing them with their kids, and I love them having kids, and me holding their kids. I just don't know.. about me having them.