4th of July Weekend Thoughts
Is there anything at all in the world you have less control over than falling in love? Maybe other's falling in love with you, but I might get some folks that would argue with that (moi aussi.) -ms
So this Fourth of July weekend was a blast. I hung out with friends and went on a couple of dates. Went to a street fair, concert, bbq(s). Drank wine, ate good food, and babysat a 9 month old baby girl named Marin. This whole weekend has brought about three realizations.
One. A guy I went out for drinks with, had let me know that really (although he is flexible) he doesn't really date women that are older than 36 (he is 38). I was surprised and inquired as to why. It had never crossed my mind to just date younger/older men. He said that it is because women his age, tend to have their biological clocks Tocking. Since he wants to spend a good amount of time with his betrothed before embarking on the Kids adventure, he thinks dating younger women helps further that goal. I was surprised, but it makes perfect sense. I feel very similarly about this. Once I do meet that someone, I want to spend a lot of time as just a couple. I want to do fun things, travel, go on dates, party, do projects, and have many, many adventures. I feel like that is my only regret in life so far (and not that easily fixed).. not really having been part of a couple in the last 10 years.
Two. Sometimes we put pressure on ourselves unduly. Needlessly, hopelessly. I thought this weekend more and more about how wonderful it is to live out here, and to have a mix of friends... single, dating, married, and a couple of babies sprinkled in between. I don't know how I would cope with being constantly surrounded by friends' exponentially growing families. I think even with the "joy of life" thing going on, it would be really depressing to be perpetually single in married land. I'm glad that these kinds of pressures (needless, hopeless, put mostly by myself upon myself) only make themselves apparent once in a while. I'm glad that most of the time I'm not expected to be keeping up with the Joneses, or the Nesters, or the Pawlowskis (more names to add soon) because I would be failing miserably.
Three. I'm not sure I want to have kids. I do hope that I will figure this out at some point, hopefully soon. Meanwhile, I can't make any promises to myself/others. I love my friends' kids, and I love seeing them with their kids, and I love them having kids, and me holding their kids. I just don't know.. about me having them.
So this Fourth of July weekend was a blast. I hung out with friends and went on a couple of dates. Went to a street fair, concert, bbq(s). Drank wine, ate good food, and babysat a 9 month old baby girl named Marin. This whole weekend has brought about three realizations.
One. A guy I went out for drinks with, had let me know that really (although he is flexible) he doesn't really date women that are older than 36 (he is 38). I was surprised and inquired as to why. It had never crossed my mind to just date younger/older men. He said that it is because women his age, tend to have their biological clocks Tocking. Since he wants to spend a good amount of time with his betrothed before embarking on the Kids adventure, he thinks dating younger women helps further that goal. I was surprised, but it makes perfect sense. I feel very similarly about this. Once I do meet that someone, I want to spend a lot of time as just a couple. I want to do fun things, travel, go on dates, party, do projects, and have many, many adventures. I feel like that is my only regret in life so far (and not that easily fixed).. not really having been part of a couple in the last 10 years.
Two. Sometimes we put pressure on ourselves unduly. Needlessly, hopelessly. I thought this weekend more and more about how wonderful it is to live out here, and to have a mix of friends... single, dating, married, and a couple of babies sprinkled in between. I don't know how I would cope with being constantly surrounded by friends' exponentially growing families. I think even with the "joy of life" thing going on, it would be really depressing to be perpetually single in married land. I'm glad that these kinds of pressures (needless, hopeless, put mostly by myself upon myself) only make themselves apparent once in a while. I'm glad that most of the time I'm not expected to be keeping up with the Joneses, or the Nesters, or the Pawlowskis (more names to add soon) because I would be failing miserably.
Three. I'm not sure I want to have kids. I do hope that I will figure this out at some point, hopefully soon. Meanwhile, I can't make any promises to myself/others. I love my friends' kids, and I love seeing them with their kids, and I love them having kids, and me holding their kids. I just don't know.. about me having them.
posted by Smarta at 3:46 PM
3 Comments:
I know this is a bit repetitive of the string of emails we shared that enjoyably monopolized the last few hours of work for me today but with regard to the #2 I think the "pressures" that you/we put upon ourselves is a result of wanting to move towards this other life and having no control over the move.
I find it extremely frustrating wanting to at least START moving in the direction of a family and a white picket fence yet all the while having to leave it in the hands of chance.
Umm... just because you don't have the eggs I don't think that makes it harder. Try to find a nice guy who isn't sneaking around emailing friends roommates in the most conniving way. ;)... kidding.
Oops... I'm anonymous.
Post a Comment
<< Home