Miss Match

I was going down to work in our LA office last week, and was going to be there Thursday and Friday. I decided to stay the night Friday because I thought I might be in the office until late, and didn't want to fight the LA traffic, even in a cab. As I don't know many (any) people down there, and I wasn't banking on my work folks taking me out, I decided to to bold. To go MATCH\. I went into my account and searched for males 28-33 with an LA zip code attached to them. I find a very cute boy, whose profile seem normal, and I decide to e-mail him and see if he'd be down for a drink.

E-mails ensue..

Smarta: I know this is random, and everytime I have gotten an e-mail like this I've deleted it, but... Anyway, I'm in our LA office for two days, and just found out that my friend, who was supposed to meet me here Friday night is flaking, and not flying down from SF to meet me. I'd seen your profile (and picture) and thought I'd e-mail you and see if you wanted to get drinks Friday night? (I'm not sure anyone in LA does happy hour?) I think I might be able to convince a second cousin of a good friend of mine to take me out for dinner and on the town..... but that seems an even longer shot than this =) Desperate times call for desperate measures.. and a girl can't sit in her hotel room on a Friday night. Let me know what you think, but please be gentle.. I feel like it's Sadie Hawkins..

BillyBoy: Ha ha! I usually delete these e-mails as well. But, then again, they usually come from women who are significantly older than me! Meeting up for drinks on Friday couldn't hurt so why not? You are very lucky, I do this even though you are a Hokie (and your Hokies embarrassed my Maryland Terps 55-7 on national tv this year). One question, I noticed on your profile something I've never seen before. Your body style is "other." Out of curiosity (and considering the 180 other possible descriptions to choose from), what does that mean?

Phone numbers exchanged...

Smarta: Hey Billy, it's Marta from match. How's it going?
BillyBoy: Well, crazy day. Had a client emergency.
Smarta: So what's the plan for tonight?
BillyBoy: Well what do you want to do?
Smarta: Well, not from LA so really, you're the boss here.
BillyBoy: So do you have a car?
Smarta: Nope, but I have a cab.
BillyBoy: Why don't we go to Lola's.
Smarta: Okay, where is that??? You, know I'll just look that up. I'm sure I can find it. What time?
BillyBoy: 6:30.
Smarta: What time should I leave..
BillyBoy: Let's make it 7, and you'll need to leave by 6:15. And, by the way.. what will you be wearing?
Smarta: Huh? Turquoise shirt, and jeans.. I'm fairly sure I'll be able to recognize you though? I mean, I've seen your pictures and stuff..
BillyBoy: Well I've had a couple of kind of bad experiences. Okay, see you later bye..

SMS...

7:00 Smarta- Still in a cab Should be there fairly soon My apologies
7:16 Billy- Yeah Stuck in traffic will be there soon as well
7:17 Smarta- here now
7:22 Billy-Where are you
7:23 Smarta- back bar
7:24 Billy- at the front got a table just ordered drinks

And we meet..

I get up from the bar and start walking out of the back bar area. I walk through the hallway and into the front area. I see a guy raising out of his seat and smiling at me. Uhm... split second recognition. Not of the person, but the situation. Apparently BillyBoy is a bit older and fatter than in his pictures. And HE was worried. Ha.

And we chat...

So BillyBoy isn't funny, and a bit stuck on himself. I on the other hand can and do make myself laugh. I ask him about his previous "other weight" and "what will you be wearing" comments. I ask him, very seriously, if he was maybe concerned that I might be in a wheelchair. (he's such an ass) And he tells me how he's been disappointed, and how most of the girls he meets don't really look like their photos. He also says he's only been on 1 or 2 dates (is it 1?, is it 2?). He excuses himself to go to the restroom. The guy at the next table nods up at me " Blind Date?" And I respond that it's not that, just a mis-understanding. BillyBoy comes back, and I excuse myself. I have a message from Jerome (go dog) asking about my date. I SMS "False Advertising". He offers to have me paged from a phone call at the bar. giggle. I also manage to now have one drink in me, so I SMS an old boyfriend who I should NOT be talking to. Thanks Billy!! I go back, we chat some more about Billy's disappointments and his law practice. I make myself laugh by telling him about my hobbies of knitting and speed walking. He leaves again. Next table guy shouts out "lose the dork". I ask him to be kind, as I myself am a stranger in a strange land. BillyBoy returns.. We finish up our drinks, and BillyBoy turns to me.."You seem like an upfront person... and I want to be straight forward and honest with you.. I have to leave now.. for another match date. " What? You, serious buddy? "But I think you are really great, so I might call you later to hang out." At which point he gets up and leaves.

Let me repeat that. BillyBoy gets up, tells me he is leaving to go on another date, and leave my ass in the middle of Los Angeles without offering me a ride/cab. That's right BillyBoy is quite the prince.

Anyway, to wrap this up.. me and guy at the next table (Charles, the 42 year old black man) have a couple more drinks. Go back to the Standard. Party on the roof. He asks if I've ever been with a black man. I tell him that I'm not into Brothers. He makes fish faces at me trying to make out, and I introduce him to three women (white, latino, asian), that have grabbed the table next to us, one of whom he might fancy. And then I go to bed.

The End